Vocaloid Crack Couples
by nekopyon
Summary: If the Vocaloids' character item/favorite food were to come alive and become humans, I wonder what they would do...especially if they dated their items... Pure humor, and not very parody-ish, but who cares! THIRD CHAPTER: Len x Banana (Part two!) - "SO! WE SHALL NOW PROCEED TO THE MALL AND BUY SOME DRESSES FOR YOU, LEN-CHAN!" "Sh-"
1. Chapter 1: Kaito and his Ice-Cream-chan

**So this was something that I thought of while chatting with ****bananasRkewl (actually, WE thought of). Something about KaitoxIce cream. My ****lamo attempt at humour. **

**Disclaimer: Nothing. I own nothing. (THIS IS ONLY GONNA SHOW UP ONCE!)**

* * *

"Ne~ Kaito-nii, wakey wakey!" A sweet voice roused Kaito from his deep sleep. His eyelids fluttered half-open; eyes hazy. The ice-cream lover groaned and turned in his bed, muttering something about ice cream and scarves, and, in the process, totally ignored the person.

The owner of the voice pouted cutely. She thought for a while, before an idea came to mind. "Kaito-nii, if you don't wake up, Ice-Cream-chan will be gone!" It had an instantaneous effect; Kaito shot right up, his back as stiff as a washing board. The sleepiness in his eyes was gone immediately, and he looked around wildly.

"ICE-CREAM-CHAN!" He hugged the owner of the voice, sobbing like a total baby. Ice-cream patted his head and sighed.

"Whatever am I going to do with you...?" She leant down, a smile on her lips, as she kissed her boyfriend.

* * *

Rin glared at Kaito and Ice cream as they made out with each other at the corner of the living room. "Curse them. Curse them. CURSE THEM!" The blonde screamed in fury as she smashed Len's banana plushie against the wall. After that, the girl stomped up the stairs, no doubt to go to her room.

Miku stared after Rin in worry as Len cried tears over the ruined face of his favourite plushie. "Do you think she'll be okay?" The tealette sipped from her cup of leek tea, while asking Meiko.

"Hic - don't worry, hic - she's -hic- just a bit sad -hic- over her not getting a human version -hic- of oranges, like Kaito. Hic!" Meiko finished her sentence with much difficulty, then rushed off to the bathroom. Sounds of vomiting could be heard from the closed room, and Miku wrinkled her nose.

* * *

Kaito was feeling really nice being with his ice cream, when something ominous came over him. He smiled creepily at Ice Cream and asked, "Ice-Cream-chan, do you like me?"

The girl stared at him ludicrously, then laughed. "Of course I do!"

"Then was there anyone you liked before me?"

She blushed. "Well, yes, I supposed..."

"I'm sorry...but I can't give you to anyone else!" Kaito's face turned ominous, as he grinned. "You're mine, and only mine!"

"NOOOOOOO!"

And so, Kaito ate up his first love, AKA, Ice-Cream-chan.

* * *

**Aaaand, the end! :) Tell me whether I should ****continue it, nya~? **

**You can also request for a vocaloid, since I'll be going in order of their age. (Excluding Leon, Lola etc, coz I don't know anything about them! ;u;)**


	2. Chapter 2: Len and his banana (1)

**So here's the chapter requested by PikaPiko! But this is only part one! w**

* * *

"HEY IT'S NOT FAIR! HOW COME YOU GET TO GO FIRST!" Rin screamed in fury, while throwing all the items she could find at her brother. Len winced at the shrillness of her voice, and narrowly avoided a chair, which broke to pieces after crashing against the wall.

Miku stared at the scene before her and sighed. "I think we need some new chairs. These ones are getting too old."

Len screamed and dodged another chair. "IS IT REALLY THE TIME TO THINK OF BUYING STUFF?! SOMEONE SAVE ME!"

Kaito was just about to jump in the fight when Rin, with a murderous look, drove out her roadroller. "Anyone who interferes will be rolled over along with Len," Rin cackled evilly.

Kaito and Len gulped. "I-I th-thought R-Rinto and Lenka hi-hid the keys...?" Kaito asked shakily.

"We-well, looks like Rin got hold of them..."

"TIME TO DIE, LEN!"

* * *

Nekopyon stared at Len, who seemed to be...as flat as a banana pancake. "Rin rolled you over, didn't she?" Len nodded weakly, and gaped when Nekopyon started laughing evilly.

"I-I guess Rin did a good job rolling you over!" Len just gaped even more at her words and trembled in fear. Nekopyon patted his back and the banana-lover fell over.

"Well now, let's start!"

* * *

Len stared in horror at the banana-turned-human in front of him. He turned and gaped some more at Nekopyon. "It's a GUY?! WHY DID MY FAVOURITE BANANA TURN INTO A GUY?!"

"Technical difficulties~" The girl sang in reply and ran off before Len could react.

The banana-turned-human stood up and laughed. "Good day, sir!"

"Goo-good day...?" Len gulped. _Why do I have a feeling that this guy somehow reminds me of Bakaito...? That's really bad._

"Now then..." Len squealed when his arm was grabbed. "Let's go on a date!"

* * *

**Ohohoho...looks like Len is in some trouble, hmm? *evil laugh***

**Reviews, nya~**


	3. Chapter 3: Len and his banana (2)

**The next part of Len's miser-I mean, date. Yes, date. **

* * *

Len gulped down his banana shake, and stared from the side of his eye at the...banana man, who was drinking his fellow shake. The banana man caught his stare, and winked. Len shivered.

_Why do I have a feeling that this guy is like Bakaito...? Creepy._

"SO!" Banana Man shouted, standing up. He caught the attention of many passersby, and Len shrieked like a girl at his sudden shout. "WE SHALL NOW PROCEED TO THE MALL AND BUY SOME DRESSES FOR YOU, LEN-CHAN!"

"Sh-" Before Len could protest, he was dragged to the mall. Unwillingly. In a roadroller. To be more exact, Rin's roadroller.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE, RIN?!" Rin smirked devilishly and gestured in the direction of the mall. She exchanged glances with Banana Man. "Well," she began casually and continued driving (and definitely exceeding the speed limit), knocking down an old lady, "I couldn't possibly miss a chance to see you as a girl, right? I was sick on the days when you did the PV for Imitation Black and LOVELESSxxx and pretty much all your other songs where you were a girl-"

Len screamed as Rin slammed down a tree in the midst of her speech. Sirens wailed loudly and police cars gave chase to the unidentified roadroller, with an underage driver, a humanoid banana, and a hostage who was going to go shopping for dresses. Rin cursed and screeched to a stop in front of the mall doors. She threw the two "passengers" out of her roadroller and drove off shrieking happily and rolling railings over.

"Smooth, Rin, real smooth." Len sweatdropped at his mirror image's actions. He snuck a glance at Banana Man, to find him standing there shell-shocked. Before he could run off, however, Banana Man grabbed his arm so hard Len was sure that it would leave bruises.

"ON TO THE SHOPS! HAHAHAHA!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Len screamed as he was pushed into the changing room, a pile of old Victorian dresses in his arms. He slumped down against the wall of the room and sniffed. All of a sudden, an escape plan formed in his head. He peeked out of the room to see Banana Man singing to himself while on the other side of the room. _Perfect. _

Len escaped from the shop and never went back there again.

* * *

_**What happened to Banana Man:**_

Banana Man sobbed as he realised his precious had escaped from him without notice. The ever-so-kind nekopyon offered to turn him back into a banana, but he declined, saying that Len would be proud of him if he continued living as a person.

And so, he started work in that very same shop Len had abandoned him in.

* * *

**Now that was a random ending. Really random. But oh well, that's how I like it! Okay...so next one's Meiko! Unless someone gives me a request, of course.**


End file.
